“All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;
the old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
a light from the shadows shall spring;
renenwed shall be blade that was broken,
the crownless again shall be king.”
From Lord of the rings... By J.R.R.Tolkien
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Turning Cold Turkey
"Cold turkey" is a term describing the actions of a person who gives up his habit or addiction at a single moment, rather than through gradually easing the process through tapering off or supplemental medication. " Wikipedia
I wouldn't say falling in love is bad, no it never is... its blissful,
its the falling out that hurts...
I have been in and out of it, a couple of times just like you! I had my share of pain and joy. And I have learnt all my lessons the hard way!
So I dared to end it in a single moment!! All the pain and suffering in that one moment. In that split second of my life...
So just like any other story, anywhere across the world, in any time and through any generation this is about a girl and a bit of luck
I have always asked myself a question, Is it right to share about a life of failures, joy and pain with you?
The answer is Yes!!!!
Yes! I Would; because just like you, i have a story to tell, an experience to share and a puzzle to solve. And above else being a human, blessed with the ability to make a conscious choice under any circumstances, I feel this is a righteous choice .
And so it begins....
I held my heart in the palm of my left hand, and dragged myself slowly towards oblivion.The heart is a throbbing mass of muscle, scarlet, with tendons oozing out blood with every throb, but that day it somehow settled down in my outstretched hand. I walked slow but steady and I felt my legs were on a course of their own, unmindful of my conscience. They walked alongside my mind without intention of going where I wanted them to go. Momentarily I would look back to the palm of my hand and it was still there, my heart, neither could i put it down, nor could I put it back to where it belonged inside me. With my mind paralyzed conjuring every possible nightmare, I walked on, each step after the other, with the dread of a knight who is about to slay the dragon, once and for all.
In that moment I realized what it takes to become a man, to fight the Goliath, to have the heart to see blood ooze out of it like slime.
That monsoon night sky was darker than any other night, everything sound drowned in the sea of darkness, even the sound of screeching tires beside me seemed a far cry. I hovered around the majestic apartment, troubled and sweating... and before I could take my next breath, I was somewhere, on some floor, in front of a dark wooden door of that building. The ring of the bell was answered on the 3rd call.
The door opened giving out a little cry as if to say, now is the last chance, just turn and run away... go away, you don't have to slay any dragons, My legs froze in that sudden palpitating moment and I was still holding my heart.
There she was, a princess, cascade of hairs flying across her bright face shaded with a curtly smile, perfected over the years, unknowlingly inviting me to step into her world. I felt as if pleading her against my wish to hold out my heart for me.
It was heavy, could she just hold it for a moment. Just this once. Never again.
And she did hold my heart, cupped in her hands, relieving me of my trouble. She mended it and put it back to where it belonged, inside me. It was a simple act of courage. And she didn't fail me. I went on to her apartment, met with her family, her husband and a little angel tottering around her legs, lost in some dream world of her own, just like me.
I shared a brief moment with her family, a conversation with her handsome young husband, took her parents blessing and walked away from her life not turning back for once. The days that followed were miserable in every sense of the word.
Halucinations of a better life hovered like a bee, stinging with a will of it's own, again and again. Something was lost in that moment. A realization dawned on me that this was the last meeting. Never again shall I meet her. Never again...
I wouldn't say falling in love is bad, no it never is... its blissful,
its the falling out that hurts...
I have been in and out of it, a couple of times just like you! I had my share of pain and joy. And I have learnt all my lessons the hard way!
So I dared to end it in a single moment!! All the pain and suffering in that one moment. In that split second of my life...
So just like any other story, anywhere across the world, in any time and through any generation this is about a girl and a bit of luck
I have always asked myself a question, Is it right to share about a life of failures, joy and pain with you?
The answer is Yes!!!!
Yes! I Would; because just like you, i have a story to tell, an experience to share and a puzzle to solve. And above else being a human, blessed with the ability to make a conscious choice under any circumstances, I feel this is a righteous choice .
And so it begins....
I held my heart in the palm of my left hand, and dragged myself slowly towards oblivion.The heart is a throbbing mass of muscle, scarlet, with tendons oozing out blood with every throb, but that day it somehow settled down in my outstretched hand. I walked slow but steady and I felt my legs were on a course of their own, unmindful of my conscience. They walked alongside my mind without intention of going where I wanted them to go. Momentarily I would look back to the palm of my hand and it was still there, my heart, neither could i put it down, nor could I put it back to where it belonged inside me. With my mind paralyzed conjuring every possible nightmare, I walked on, each step after the other, with the dread of a knight who is about to slay the dragon, once and for all.
In that moment I realized what it takes to become a man, to fight the Goliath, to have the heart to see blood ooze out of it like slime.
That monsoon night sky was darker than any other night, everything sound drowned in the sea of darkness, even the sound of screeching tires beside me seemed a far cry. I hovered around the majestic apartment, troubled and sweating... and before I could take my next breath, I was somewhere, on some floor, in front of a dark wooden door of that building. The ring of the bell was answered on the 3rd call.
The door opened giving out a little cry as if to say, now is the last chance, just turn and run away... go away, you don't have to slay any dragons, My legs froze in that sudden palpitating moment and I was still holding my heart.
There she was, a princess, cascade of hairs flying across her bright face shaded with a curtly smile, perfected over the years, unknowlingly inviting me to step into her world. I felt as if pleading her against my wish to hold out my heart for me.
It was heavy, could she just hold it for a moment. Just this once. Never again.
And she did hold my heart, cupped in her hands, relieving me of my trouble. She mended it and put it back to where it belonged, inside me. It was a simple act of courage. And she didn't fail me. I went on to her apartment, met with her family, her husband and a little angel tottering around her legs, lost in some dream world of her own, just like me.
I shared a brief moment with her family, a conversation with her handsome young husband, took her parents blessing and walked away from her life not turning back for once. The days that followed were miserable in every sense of the word.
Halucinations of a better life hovered like a bee, stinging with a will of it's own, again and again. Something was lost in that moment. A realization dawned on me that this was the last meeting. Never again shall I meet her. Never again...
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